{"id":266,"date":"2023-10-04T09:36:02","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T09:36:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ehlendergisi.com\/?p=266"},"modified":"2023-10-04T09:36:04","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T09:36:04","slug":"dilara-can-yazdi-felaket","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ehlendergisi.com\/index.php\/2023\/10\/04\/dilara-can-yazdi-felaket\/","title":{"rendered":"Dilara Can yazd\u0131: Felaket"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dilara Can<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ko\u015fuyorum, ko\u015fuyorum\u2026 Nefes nefeseyim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neden karanl\u0131k her yer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neden her yer toz duman i\u00e7inde?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bardaktan bo\u015fal\u0131rcas\u0131na ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yor. Ayaklar\u0131m \u00e7\u0131plak; kuca\u011f\u0131mda yeni do\u011fan bebe\u011fim ile nereden gelip nereye gitti\u011fimi bilmeden ko\u015fuyorum. Birden duruyorum; g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde patlamayan \u015fim\u015fek zihnimde patl\u0131yor. Neredeyim ben?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir bilse i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu durumu, \u00e7ok de\u011fil be\u015f dakika \u00f6nce ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlasa… Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 kara kad\u0131n kald\u0131rabilecek misin her \u015feyi? Halbuki o ak\u015fam aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7ip sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 tarad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda uzun uzun kendine bakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ve i\u00e7inden \u201cSa\u00e7lar\u0131m ne kadar g\u00fczel, simsiyah, upuzun ve dalgal\u0131\u201d diye ge\u00e7irmi\u015fti. Aynada kendine dalm\u0131\u015f bakarken akl\u0131na o g\u00fcn\u00fcn ne kadar g\u00fczel ge\u00e7ti\u011fi gelmi\u015fti. \u0130\u015fyerinde terfi ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in arkada\u015flar\u0131yla d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f, kutlama yapm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Sonra da evde ailesi ona k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir s\u00fcrpriz haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yemek masas\u0131ndaki g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fmeler akl\u0131na geldik\u00e7e kendi kendine g\u00fcld\u00fc: \u201cAh yaramazlar!\u201d \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l da birden b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcklerini, nas\u0131l da kocaman olduklar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc b\u00fcy\u00fcmesine de yine de yataklar\u0131na girdiklerinde kocas\u0131 dahil t\u00fcm aile onun bebe\u011fine s\u00f6yledi\u011fi ninniyle uyurdu.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O gece de \u00f6yle oldu. Ama bu gecenin di\u011ferlerinden fark\u0131 vard\u0131. Az sonra felaket onlar\u0131n g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc y\u00fczlerine vuracak, evdeki t\u00fcm aynalar\u0131 parampar\u00e7a edecekti. \u0130\u015fte kara sa\u00e7l\u0131 kad\u0131n o felaketin i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nereye ko\u015ftu\u011funu bilmeyen kad\u0131n, ileride, az ileride birini g\u00f6rd\u00fc, o karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde bilinmeze do\u011fru yakla\u015f\u0131rken \u201cTan\u0131r m\u0131 ki beni? Bilir mi nerede oldu\u011fumu?\u201d diye kendi kendine m\u0131r\u0131ldanarak o tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ama g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tek yabanc\u0131ya s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmak istedi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBen neredeyim? Buras\u0131 neresi?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sordum ama i\u00e7imde biraz korku var. Korkumun ge\u00e7mesi i\u00e7in bebe\u011fimi kollar\u0131mla daha s\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131yorum. Kar\u015f\u0131mdaki anl\u0131yor mu acaba korktu\u011fumu? Niye bu kadar uzun uzun bak\u0131yor y\u00fcz\u00fcme?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBu binadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131n.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elindeki fenerle bana \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutarken g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi yere do\u011fru kafam\u0131 \u00e7evirdi\u011fimde y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. \u0130\u015fte o an duyuyorum insanlar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131tlar\u0131n\u0131, feryatlar\u0131n\u0131, yard\u0131m isteklerini\u2026 Ba\u011f\u0131rt\u0131lar \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rt\u0131lar i\u00e7inde her birinin sesi bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n sesine kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor\u2026 Film sahnesi gibi geliyor duyup izlediklerim. Ama film de\u011fil t\u00fcm bunlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Belki de i\u00e7i ac\u0131 dolu, insafs\u0131z bir ger\u00e7ekti her \u015fey. O, etraf\u0131 izlemekten kendi halini g\u00f6remiyordu. \u00c7\u0131plak ayaklar\u0131 kesikler i\u00e7erisindeydi. V\u00fccudundaki kesiklerden akan kanlar ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131na kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Kara ka\u015flar\u0131 aras\u0131ndaki ay y\u00fcz\u00fc yara bere ve toz i\u00e7indeydi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cE\u015fim ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m? Onlar, onlar nerede? \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m, onlar nerede?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kad\u0131n m\u0131 adam m\u0131 oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ki\u015fiye do\u011fru biraz daha yakla\u015f\u0131yorum; ya\u011fmurun ve onca hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131n sesini bast\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak var g\u00fcc\u00fcmle ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131m, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m, nerede?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSadece senin \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm evden!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSadece ben mi?\u201d Bunu i\u00e7imden mi yoksa sesli mi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum, bilmiyorum. Ama o konu\u015fmaya devam ediyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n enkaz alt\u0131nda!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ne dedi\u011fini bilmiyor bu! Enkaz ne demek, alt\u0131nda bir de \u00fcstelik. G\u00f6zlerim a\u00e7\u0131k \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ya\u015famak gibi bir \u015fey. Enkaz\u0131n alt\u0131 m\u0131? Bu tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, bilmedi\u011fim yer benim evim mi? Sorular beynimde yank\u0131lan\u0131rken nefes alam\u0131yor ve ne yapmam gerekti\u011fine karar veremiyorum. Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6rtt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bu korkun\u00e7 zaman\u0131n i\u00e7inde kendi evimi bile tan\u0131yam\u0131yorum. Ve iyice korkuya kap\u0131l\u0131rken ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmez durumda ona yalvarmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yorum:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNe olur yard\u0131m et, \u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ocu\u011fum ve e\u015fim orada\u2026 Ne olur \u00e7\u0131kart onlar\u0131!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs kafesim par\u00e7alanacak gibi, nefes al\u0131p verdik\u00e7e solu\u011fum ci\u011ferlerimi yak\u0131yor, beni bo\u011fuyor, ac\u0131 ac\u0131 ac\u0131… Ben bu dipsizli\u011fin i\u00e7indeyken bir anda fark ediyorum; o, kuca\u011f\u0131mdaki bebe\u011fe yakla\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOna bakabilir miyim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130stemsizce geri \u00e7ekiliyorum. Sanki bebe\u011fimi benden al\u0131rsa bir daha vermeyecek gibi. Bak\u0131\u015f\u0131, duru\u015fu bana bunu hissettiriyor. Geri geri giderken yakar\u0131\u015f\u0131ma devam ediyorum. Di\u011fer insanlar\u0131n ba\u011fr\u0131\u015flar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k daha \u00e7ok ba\u011f\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m i\u00e7eride. D\u00fcnyam i\u00e7eride. O bana do\u011fru yakla\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBebe\u011fini bana verir misin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cVermem, vermem, o benim. Vermem! Dokunma bebe\u011fime!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorum. Ne yapabilirim ki ba\u015fka? G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m yanaklar\u0131mdan akarken y\u00fcre\u011fime do\u011fru alev par\u00e7as\u0131 oluyor damlalar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O h\u0131zla benim yan\u0131ma gelip bebe\u011fimin battaniyesini kollar\u0131mdan \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. S\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 sard\u0131\u011f\u0131m bebe\u011fimi vermek istemiyorum fakat o y\u0131lm\u0131yor, almak i\u00e7in diretiyor. Beni itip kollar\u0131mdan battaniyeyi h\u0131zl\u0131 ve g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir \u015fekilde \u00e7ekip al\u0131yor.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNe yap\u0131yorsun sen? Bebe\u011fim \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyecek.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBebek nerede? Kollar\u0131nda bebek yok, battaniyede de yok.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayakta durmu\u015f, bana bombo\u015f g\u00f6zlerle, duygusuz bak\u0131\u015flarla bak\u0131yor bana. Havada tuttu\u011fu battaniyeyi g\u00f6steriyor. Solu\u011funu y\u00fcz\u00fcmde hissederken sesi kulaklar\u0131mda \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBebek nerede? Hani nerede bebek?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kollar\u0131ma bak\u0131yorum, bebe\u011fim yok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNerede? Nerede bebe\u011fim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAz evvel buradayd\u0131, kollar\u0131mda. Buradayd\u0131 kuzum, ben onu en sevdi\u011fi battaniyesi ile s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131p sarmalam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ama \u015fimdi bebe\u011fim burada de\u011fil. Ne yapt\u0131n bebe\u011fime? Nereye saklad\u0131n bebe\u011fimi?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yakas\u0131ndan tutup sars\u0131yorum onu. Bebe\u011fimi saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden \u00e7\u0131kartmas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBebe\u011fin bende de\u011fil. Onu bir yere saklamad\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yere d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olmal\u0131. Evet evet, yere d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Hemen dizimin \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcp dokunarak etraf\u0131 aray\u0131p bebe\u011fimi bulmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O, fenerle topra\u011f\u0131 avu\u00e7lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yere do\u011fru \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutuyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBak bebe\u011fin yok burada, burada bebek falan yok, bunu biliyorsun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aya\u011fa kalk\u0131p h\u0131zl\u0131ca \u00fczerine y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc ve onu deli gibi yumruklamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hissetmesi i\u00e7in t\u00fcm g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc kulland\u0131. Dizlerinin \u00fczerine \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc, g\u00f6zleri kapal\u0131 h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar i\u00e7inde ona yalvard\u0131. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131, kimse yoktu. Ellerini yere dayay\u0131p yeniden aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 enkaza do\u011fru \u00e7evirip \u00e7ok de\u011fil birka\u00e7 zaman \u00f6nceki ailesiyle oturdu\u011fu yemek masas\u0131na, odalar\u0131nda yataklar\u0131nda koklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na ko\u015fmak istedi. Topra\u011f\u0131n, ta\u015flar\u0131n, demirlerin i\u00e7inde elleri t\u0131rnaklar\u0131yla kazmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 topra\u011f\u0131. Ve ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 tek tek \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n isimlerini\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cD\u00fc\u00fc\u00fc\u00fcnnn\u00fc\u00fcmmmmm, bug\u00fc\u00fc\u00fcnnn\u00fc\u00fcmmm, yar\u0131\u0131\u0131\u0131nnn\u0131\u0131\u0131mmmm, anneniniz geldi, anneniniz burada! Korkmay\u0131n, ben buraday\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir ses duymak, bir i\u015faret almak i\u00e7in kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 enkaza dayad\u0131. Nefes bile almadan dinledi, k\u0131sac\u0131k da olsa bir ses duymak i\u00e7in. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczd\u00fcler, \u00e7ok ba\u011f\u0131ramazlard\u0131; onlar\u0131n inlemelerini duyabilmeliydi. Sonra i\u00e7inden \u201cKocam, ya kocam, onun o g\u00fcr sesi niye \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yor, niye duyam\u0131yorum?\u201d diye ge\u00e7irdi korkuyla.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoktu hi\u00e7bir \u015fey, yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAllah\u2019\u0131m, yard\u0131m et bana!\u201d diye hayk\u0131rd\u0131 nereye, ne tarafa hareket etmesi gerekti\u011fini bilmeden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131, enkaz\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir oraya bir buraya deli gibi kendini at\u0131yordu. Etraftan bulabildi\u011fi ne varsa demir, ta\u015f, her \u015feyle vuruyordu, bu y\u0131k\u0131lmaz duvarlara. T\u0131rnaklar\u0131yla kaz\u0131yordu, bir delik a\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu var g\u00fcc\u00fcyle. \u201cBenim \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m karanl\u0131ktan korkarlar.\u201d Onlar\u0131 orada, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir alanda, k\u0131s\u0131l\u0131p kald\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 hayal ettik\u00e7e yavrular\u0131n\u0131 ondan ay\u0131ran katillere daha da sert daha da \u00e7aresiz vuruyordu.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne kald\u0131r\u0131p g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fc oldu\u011funca a\u00e7t\u0131 ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, y\u00fcre\u011fini, Allah’a g\u00f6stermek istercesine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAaaaahhhhh Allah\u2019\u0131m ne olur, ne olur bir ses, bir nefes yeter bana!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parmaklar\u0131m\u0131n par\u00e7alanmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen ne bir ses ne de bir nefes alabiliyorum. \u201cBeni \u00e7ocuklar\u0131mdan ay\u0131ran gaddar katiller \u00e7ekilin yolumdan, y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131mdan, ben \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma kavu\u015fmak istiyorum. Par\u00e7alan\u0131n, yok olun. Kavu\u015fturun beni \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma\u2026\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorum. Sonra battaniye geliyor akl\u0131ma. Arkam\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum ki demin durdu\u011fum yerde sere serpe yat\u0131yor. Bebe\u011fimin battaniyesini yerden al\u0131p kokluyorum. Kokusunu i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum. \u201cOoooyyy benim minik memleketim. Ooyyy benim cennet kokulu memleketim. Neredesin? Daha \u00e7ok sarsayd\u0131m, koklasayd\u0131m, ok\u015fasayd\u0131m sizi. \u0130\u00e7imde, y\u00fcre\u011fimde, kalbimin ortas\u0131nda, en g\u00fcvenilir yerde kalsayd\u0131n\u0131z meleklerim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne vura vura a\u011f\u0131tlar yak\u0131yordu. Bebe\u011fini o gece uyutmak i\u00e7in s\u00f6yledi\u011fi ninniyi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p etrafa bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda kimseler yoktu. Yine yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131na kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark edince tedirgin oldu.    <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enkaz\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na ko\u015fup k\u00f6\u015fede duran koca kaya par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 eline al\u0131p kalan t\u00fcm g\u00fcc\u00fcyle bir zamanlar evinin dam\u0131 olan betona vurduk\u00e7a vurdu. Art\u0131k a\u011flam\u0131yordu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc a\u011flayarak az\u0131c\u0131k kalan g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc harcayamazd\u0131. Ka\u00e7 saat ge\u00e7mi\u015fti, belki de sadece dakikalard\u0131. \u00d6nemi var m\u0131yd\u0131? Avu\u00e7lar\u0131ndan, dizlerinden oluk oluk kan ak\u0131yordu. Ama bu so\u011fu\u011fa, bu ya\u011fmura, v\u00fccudundaki bu s\u0131z\u0131lara kar\u015f\u0131 koyamad\u0131; ayakta duracak mecali kalmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc dizlerinin \u00fczerine. Onca g\u00f6k g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fcne, onca a\u011flay\u0131\u015fa, onca yakar\u0131\u015fa kafa tutarcas\u0131na, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bak\u0131p kollar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAllah\u2019\u0131m beni almay\u0131 unuttun!\u201d   <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Belki bay\u0131ld\u0131m belki bitap d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp uyuyakald\u0131m, bilmiyorum. G\u00fcn yava\u015f yava\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131ldamaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda etraf tarif edilemez bir haldeydi. Bir y\u0131k\u0131m de\u011fil felaketti. Bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce evim, yuvam olan yer \u015fimdi enkaz ad\u0131 verilen mezara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Mahallem dedi\u011fim yer hayalet olmu\u015ftu. Bir sonraki soka\u011f\u0131 zor g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yerden ucu buca\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen enkaz y\u0131\u011f\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131, hatta oturdu\u011fum yerden kar\u015f\u0131 mahalleyi g\u00f6rebiliyordum. \u0130nsanlar evlerinden ya da \u015fimdiki ad\u0131 ile enkaz\u0131n \u00fczerinden sevdiklerine sesleniyor, ellerindeki ta\u015f, sopa, kazma, k\u00fcrek her ne varsa onlar ile sevdiklerini kurtarmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 bir kenara \u00e7ekilmi\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fckleri kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u015foka girmi\u015f vaziyette olanlar\u0131n so\u011fuk ger\u00e7ekli\u011fini anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben de \u00f6nce uzun uzun etrafa bak\u0131nd\u0131m. Anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. Sonra bir ses duydum, o tarafa do\u011fru kafam\u0131 \u00e7evirdim. Ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n, 20- 25 ya\u015flar\u0131ndaki bir k\u0131zdan medet umuyor bir haldeydi. Durduklar\u0131 enkaz \u00fc\u00e7 binan\u0131n birbiri i\u00e7ine girmi\u015f haliydi. Enkaz\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndaki ki\u015filer kendi aralar\u0131nda konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131: \u201cBuradan kimse sa\u011f \u00e7\u0131kamaz, Allah buradaki ki\u015filerin ailelerine sab\u0131r versin,\u201d diye s\u00f6ylenip duruyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n bunlar\u0131 duyduk\u00e7a k\u0131za daha \u00e7ok yana\u015f\u0131yor ve ellerini tutmu\u015f ona yalvar\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNe olur, ne olur, kurtar o\u011flumu!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTeyzeci\u011fim ben ne yapabilirim, kurban oldu\u011fum teyzem ben ne yapabilirim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYapars\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131m, ne olur \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7ocu\u011fumu!\u201d Sonra k\u0131z\u0131n ayaklar\u0131na sar\u0131l\u0131p \u201cGelinim vard\u0131, torunlar\u0131m vard\u0131, bari bana onlardan bir par\u00e7a \u00e7\u0131kar, onu g\u00f6meyim, mezar yapay\u0131m. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n mezarlar\u0131 olsun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Duyuyordum onlar\u0131. Tepemde konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131, kula\u011f\u0131m\u0131n arkas\u0131nda konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131. Her yerde konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131. Mezar\u0131 m\u0131 olsun? Mezars\u0131z olmaz m\u0131? Durum bu kadar m\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fc, i\u00e7imde bir yerde bu durumu kabul edemiyor, her \u015feyin bir oyun bir kurmaca oldu\u011funu hayk\u0131rmak istiyordum. Ama enkaz\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndaki kar\u0131nca misali insan topla\u015fmalar\u0131 ve onlar\u0131n tepkileri, s\u00f6zleri tokat gibi \u00e7arp\u0131yor ve bana bunlar\u0131n ger\u00e7ek oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Duyduklar\u0131yla bir saniye de olsa kendisine geldi ve d\u00fcn geceki o kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kan\u0131n i\u00e7indeki ses oldu\u011funu ac\u0131 bir ger\u00e7eklikle anlad\u0131. Yavrular\u0131n\u0131, sevdi\u011fi adam\u0131 ve birlikte daha ya\u015fanmam\u0131\u015f onca hayalini, an\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 o enkazdan \u00e7\u0131karmak isteyi\u015finin \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 oldu\u011fu ger\u00e7ekli\u011fi ile kalakald\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 kara kad\u0131n, ac\u0131 her zaman vard\u0131, yak\u0131ndayd\u0131. Ah sa\u00e7lar\u0131 kara kad\u0131n, sen derin bir uykuda iken seni sevenler ve senin de bir mezar\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 isteyenler kendi \u00e7abalar\u0131 ile enkaz\u0131 kazd\u0131klar\u0131nda bebe\u011fin bir kolunda s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131l\u0131 halde, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u00f6\u015fede s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f; d\u00fcn\u00fcn, bug\u00fcn\u00fcn, yar\u0131n\u0131n ve kocan ile seni sar\u0131p sarmalanm\u0131\u015f bulacaklard\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah insano\u011flu, ah! Ac\u0131 sen do\u011farken yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131na eklenmi\u015f, sen onu nas\u0131l g\u00f6rmezden gelirsin? Bak i\u015fte 80 saniyede neler oldu? D\u00fcn ile bug\u00fcn aras\u0131nda y\u0131llar, an\u0131lar, var olu\u015flar ve yok olu\u015flar yok mu? Hayat\u0131 g\u00fczel k\u0131lan da sensin, hayat\u0131 \u00e7irkin yapan da sensin. Ah insano\u011flu, bak g\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc senin ellerinle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, senin ellerinden kaybettiklerini. Ah insano\u011flu, ah! Sevgi sen do\u011farken yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131na eklenmi\u015f, sen onu nas\u0131l g\u00f6rmezden gelirsin?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dilara Can Ko\u015fuyorum, ko\u015fuyorum\u2026 Nefes nefeseyim. Neden karanl\u0131k her yer? Neden her yer toz duman i\u00e7inde? Bardaktan bo\u015fal\u0131rcas\u0131na ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yor. Ayaklar\u0131m \u00e7\u0131plak; kuca\u011f\u0131mda yeni do\u011fan bebe\u011fim ile nereden gelip nereye gitti\u011fimi bilmeden ko\u015fuyorum. Birden duruyorum; g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde patlamayan \u015fim\u015fek zihnimde patl\u0131yor. Neredeyim ben? Bir bilse i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu durumu, \u00e7ok de\u011fil be\u015f dakika \u00f6nce ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlasa… Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":267,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-266","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-guncel"},"yoast_head":"\nDilara Can yazd\u0131: Felaket - ehlen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ehlendergisi.com\/index.php\/2023\/10\/04\/dilara-can-yazdi-felaket\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dilara Can yazd\u0131: Felaket - ehlen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dilara Can Ko\u015fuyorum, ko\u015fuyorum\u2026 Nefes nefeseyim. 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Neden karanl\u0131k her yer? Neden her yer toz duman i\u00e7inde? Bardaktan bo\u015fal\u0131rcas\u0131na ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yor. Ayaklar\u0131m \u00e7\u0131plak; kuca\u011f\u0131mda yeni do\u011fan bebe\u011fim ile nereden gelip nereye gitti\u011fimi bilmeden ko\u015fuyorum. Birden duruyorum; g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde patlamayan \u015fim\u015fek zihnimde patl\u0131yor. Neredeyim ben? 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