{"id":888,"date":"2025-06-09T10:53:50","date_gmt":"2025-06-09T10:53:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ehlendergisi.com\/?p=888"},"modified":"2025-06-09T10:53:52","modified_gmt":"2025-06-09T10:53:52","slug":"musab-kaybederse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ehlendergisi.com\/index.php\/2025\/06\/09\/musab-kaybederse\/","title":{"rendered":"Musab Kaybederse\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mustafa Kemal Ers\u00f6z<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

L.Cohen- Famous Blue Raincoat<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben Judas! Ah! Judas m\u0131 dedim? \u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim ve bunu \u00e7ok s\u0131k yapar\u0131m!  Dikkate almayabilirsiniz.  Ben Musab! Bu aralar her \u015feyi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum. \u00c7oktur her \u015feyi birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum! Helali harama, g\u00fczeli \u00e7irkine, iyiyi k\u00f6t\u00fcye, temizi kirliye! Ad\u0131m\u0131 bile! Hatta ad\u0131m\u0131 i\u011fren\u00e7 su\u00e7lara bile!  Evet \u00f6yle i\u015fte her \u015feyi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum. Her \u015feyi berbat ediyorum!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kusura bakmay\u0131n, kafam epey da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k. San\u0131r\u0131m biraz durup bir g\u00fcrz darbesiyle darmada\u011f\u0131n edilmi\u015f hissetti\u011fim kafam\u0131 toparlamam gerekli! Bu biraz zaman alabilir. Takdir edersiniz ki tablo berbat vahim!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Her neyse kimdim ben? Ben Musab! Art\u0131k bundan eminim.  Uzun bir yola mahk\u00fbm edildim! Bu kadar uzun olmas\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 istemezdim! Aman! Size as\u0131l bahsetmek istedi\u011fim \u015fey bu de\u011fil! Asl\u0131nda biliyor musunuz? Neden bahsetti\u011fimi bile bilmiyorum ama daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yleyeyim mi?  Oldum olas\u0131 neden bahsetti\u011fimi bilemedim! Yal\u0131n hakikati, hayat\u0131, mesuliyeti, \u015feylerin k\u0131ymetini t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7bir zaman bilemedim!  D\u00fcnyayla, insanlarla aramda hep bir mesafe olageldi! Ta ki betona \u00e7ak\u0131lana de\u011fin maddi ger\u00e7ekli\u011fi anlayamad\u0131m! \u00c7ak\u0131lana ve buz gibi ger\u00e7eklerle en can yak\u0131c\u0131 bi\u00e7imde y\u00fczle\u015fene de\u011fin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f boyunca \u015fu ana kadar her \u015fey yolunda diyerek kendimi yalanlarla avuttum! Kendimi kand\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ger\u00e7eklikten ka\u00e7abilece\u011fimi, herkesi kand\u0131rabilece\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm! Kendimden ba\u015fka kimseyi kand\u0131ramad\u0131m! Meziyet bildi\u011fim hezeyanlar\u0131m felaketim oldular! El-hak yan\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m muhakkak, yenildi\u011fim kesin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  Karanl\u0131k zihnimde s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerle ya\u015fad\u0131m! S\u00f6zc\u00fcklere iman ettim! Hikayelere, masallara, efsanelere, \u015fark\u0131lara, mar\u015flara, sloganlara yani yalana meftundum ben!  Nihayet gittik\u00e7e bo\u015falan yollar\u0131n ortas\u0131nda b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn bir yalandan ibaretim!  Ben ve dahi benimle ilgili olan her \u015fey belki de \u015fu an k\u0131\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131t\u0131p duran \u015fu rahats\u0131z sandalyenin \u00fczerindeki kara, kambur varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m bile bir yalandan ibaret! Ya da belki de sadece her \u015feyi berbat etti\u011fim \u015fu berbat \u00f6\u011fleden sonra her \u015fey bana berbat geliyordur. Ben ve karanl\u0131k berbat zihnim yine her \u015feyi l\u00fczumundan fazla abart\u0131yoruzdur.  \u00d6yleyse \u015f\u00f6yle s\u00f6yleyeyim: en az\u0131ndan \u015fu an i\u00e7in yavan ve yalan hayat\u0131mdaki her \u015fey, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ne varsa en mutlu anlar\u0131m, en felaket anlar\u0131m, t\u00fcm an\u0131lar\u0131m ve g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcn alt\u0131nda s\u00f6yledi\u011fim her \u015fey k\u0131zz\u0131p u fadi<\/em> geliyor! Neyse ne bir sigara i\u00e7mem gerekiyor. Nerede kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hat\u0131rlat\u0131n zira nerede oldu\u011fumu, ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ok s\u0131k kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Biliyor musunuz? sigara i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kma i\u015fine bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc al\u0131\u015famad\u0131m ama al\u0131\u015fmam gerek. Sigaray\u0131 b\u0131rakmama yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan psikolog \u00f6yle s\u00f6yledi. Al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan kurtulabilmek i\u00e7in yeni al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar edinmemiz gerekirmi\u015f. Bu daha \u00f6nce neden hi\u00e7 akl\u0131ma gelmedi ki?  Zaten hep sonradan gelir akl\u0131m ba\u015f\u0131ma, hep sonradan; bu da i\u015fte benim bir s\u00fcr\u00fc k\u00f6t\u00fc al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan biri! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her neyse nerede kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k? Ha! Ben Musab, bana bu ismi \u015fimdilerde benim gibi y\u00fcz \u00e7evrilmi\u015f olan, affedilemez bir su\u00e7 i\u015flemi\u015f, y\u00fczlerine t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fclesi \u00e7ok su\u00e7lu kimseler vermi\u015fti. Galiba su\u00e7 ve su\u00e7lulara f\u0131tri bir meyilim var. Pa\u00e7am\u0131 bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u0131y\u0131ram\u0131yorum! Boka bat\u0131p duruyorum. Her neyse \u00f6yle i\u015fte hakiki Musab \u00e7ok k\u0131yak, \u00e7ok hakikatli biri oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in ben de kendime bu ismi uygun buldum. Yoksa size daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 s\u00f6ylemedim ama benim m\u00fcstesna bir insana atfen verilmi\u015f \u00e7ok g\u00fczel, ger\u00e7ek bir ismim var.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Bana binlerce kez lanet olsun! Konuya bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc giremiyorum. Konuyu bile bulam\u0131yorum. Uzun uzad\u0131ya, kopuk, kifayetiz, manas\u0131z monologlar\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7erisinde, sefil akl\u0131m\u0131n sefaletinde bo\u011fuluyorum. S\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, dikkatinizin da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark edebiliyorum. T\u00fcm bu meyyus, bedbin sa\u00e7mal\u0131klar da neyin nesi dedi\u011finizi duyar gibiyim. Sizin gibi hayat\u0131n\u0131 bir \u015fekilde ray\u0131nda tutmay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f. S\u00fcrd\u00fcrmeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilen, muvaffak ve temiz insanlar\u0131n, mah\u00fbf bir su\u00e7 i\u015flemi\u015f m\u00fccrim birinin \u00e7arp\u0131k zihnine yabanc\u0131 oldu\u011funuzu, onu anlamakta zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 biliyorum. Beni anlayabilmenizi, mazur g\u00f6rmenizi, affedilebilmeyi, temize \u00e7\u0131kmay\u0131 beklemiyorum. Bunu hakketmiyorum da! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Ah sayg\u0131de\u011fer dostlar\u0131m, feci bir c\u00fcr\u00fcm i\u015flemi\u015f, c\u00fcrm\u00fcn\u00fcn habis f\u0131trat\u0131ndan, hastal\u0131kl\u0131 zihninden, berbat al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131ndan, zay\u0131f ki\u015fili\u011finden do\u011fdu\u011funu ad\u0131 gibi bilen, bu ger\u00e7ekten ka\u00e7amayan, bu zelil ger\u00e7eklikle y\u00fczle\u015fmek zorunda olan, i\u015fledi\u011fi su\u00e7un lekesini anl\u0131nda, ar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011finde, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131rt\u0131nda ta\u015f\u0131yan, mesuliyetini kabullenen su\u00e7lu kimselerin halet-i ruhiyesi i\u015fte b\u00f6yledir! Dilemmalar, \u00e7eli\u015fkiler, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar, \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fc, buhran, umutsuzluk, kendine duyulan \u00f6fke, kendine d\u00f6n\u00fck derin bir nefret ve gayya kuyular\u0131yla doludur. \u0130nan\u0131n bana insan\u0131n kendi vicdan\u0131nda daha beter bir i\u015fkence hane, kendi akl\u0131ndan daha zifiri bir h\u00fccre yoktur.  El-an t\u00fcm bu z\u0131rval\u0131klar\u0131 say\u0131klarken sol meme ucumun \u00fc\u00e7 parmak alt\u0131nda bir \u00e7ivi kalbimi de\u015fiyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Veyl ki \u015fu sol yan\u0131mdaki s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131dan kendimi kurtarabilsem, \u015fu g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmdeki daralt\u0131dan kendimi s\u0131y\u0131rabilsem, korkuya, kayg\u0131ya, teslim olan akl\u0131m \u015fu vesveselerden ar\u0131nabilse size kendimi tastamam, olup biteni en sarih haliyle anlataca\u011f\u0131m, hi\u00e7 de\u011filse kendime anlataca\u011f\u0131m! Kendimi anlayam\u0131yorum! Kendimi anlatam\u0131yorum da! Oysa bilseydiniz benim sevgili dostlar\u0131m ben de insanlar i\u00e7inde, bir insand\u0131m.  Belki herkesten biraz daha tenha, belki herkesten biraz daha yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn, belki herkesten biraz da suskun, kendine kastetmi\u015f, kendine azmetmi\u015f, biraz da kendini bilhassa tan\u0131ms\u0131z b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f, kendini bir ba\u015fkas\u0131yla tan\u0131mlamaktan, kendini bir ba\u015fkas\u0131yla s\u0131namaktan \u00fcrken, kendini a\u00e7makta zorlanan, lo\u015f odalarda sessizli\u011fin doyurdu\u011fu, benli\u011finin \u00e7atlaklar\u0131 aras\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f l\u00fczumdan fazla efk\u00e2rl\u0131 biriydim. A\u011f\u0131r ba\u015fl\u0131 kitaplar aras\u0131ndan, yang\u0131nlar alevinden ge\u00e7ip de gelen herhangi bir insand\u0131m.  Her insan gibi g\u00fcnahlar\u0131, sevaplar\u0131, hay\u0131rlar\u0131, hatalar\u0131, a\u00e7mazlar\u0131, \u00e7eli\u015fkileri, tuhaf huylar\u0131, sa\u00e7ma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131, yetmezlikleriyle, boynunda ya\u015famak a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131, derinlerinde inceden bir varolu\u015f sanc\u0131s\u0131yla, herhangi bir insan\u0131n birikimine sahip epitopu d\u00fcz insan, baz\u0131 insan, karanl\u0131k insand\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015eimdi hepimiz i\u00e7in inanmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 ama y\u00fcre\u011fim her sabah bir devrimcinin y\u00fcre\u011fiydi. Kendinden ziyade ba\u015fkalar\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00e7arpan, y\u00fczlerini dahi g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi kimselerin dertlerini, g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi yerlerdeki \u0131zd\u0131raplar\u0131 kendi derdinden daha \u00e7ok dert edinen, kendinden ba\u015fka herkes i\u00e7in ya\u015fayan, kendinden ba\u015fka herkesten bahseden, kendinden ba\u015fka herkese hak veren, kendini ihmal eden, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n mutlulu\u011fu i\u00e7in kendini g\u00f6z ard\u0131 etmeye g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc, kendi i\u00e7in neredeyse hi\u00e7bir \u015fey istemeyen, isteyemeyen, ancak vermekle mutlu olabilen, kendinde olmayan\u0131 bile vermeye naz\u0131r, kendini fedaya haz\u0131r yorgun, meczup bir Don Ki\u015fot\u2019tu y\u00fcre\u011fim. Ben, mesul olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feylere kendini mesul hisseden ki\u015fiydim. Dizlerim kabil de\u011filken mecali dahi yokken i\u00e7imden biri \u201cRun Forrest Run!\u2019\u2019  diye sesleniyordu.  Evsiz k\u00f6peklere, yuva yapan ku\u015flara, \u00e7ocuklara ah en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuklara, ya\u015fl\u0131lara, yoksullara, mazlumlara, ma\u011fdurlara, kenardakilere, dilencilere, insanlara, d\u00fcnyaya kar\u015f\u0131 sevgiyle, \u015fefkatle dolu y\u00fcre\u011fimde kendimden ba\u015fka herkese yer vard\u0131. Y\u00fcre\u011fime bir ben s\u0131\u011fam\u0131yordum. Kendime kendimde bir yer a\u00e7am\u0131yordum. Benimle d\u00fcnya aras\u0131ndaki bitimsiz kavgada kendimden ba\u015fka herkesten taraft\u0131m ben!  S\u00f6z\u00fcm ona ben Musab i\u015fte! Bir yetimin en afili yolda\u015f\u0131! Oysa yaln\u0131zca mahzun bak\u0131\u015fl\u0131, m\u00fclayim,b\u0131z\u0131k-p\u0131rt <\/em>bir o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011fuydum!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gelgelelim, Beter, bana k\u0131smetmi\u015f! Bunu size mutlaka s\u00f6ylemeliyim benim y\u00fcce g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc dostlar\u0131m! Ben, o me\u015fhur hikayedeki gibi bir sabah bunalt\u0131c\u0131 d\u00fc\u015flerden uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, kendimi yata\u011f\u0131mda devcileyin bir b\u00f6ce\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olarak bulmad\u0131m. Ben beynimin i\u00e7inde bir tarantulayla do\u011fdum! Beynimin en karanl\u0131k, en \u00fccra, en kirli k\u0131y\u0131-k\u00f6\u015felerinde yuvaland\u0131. Ben b\u00fcy\u00fcrken benimle b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc, beynime a\u011flar \u00f6rd\u00fc, karanl\u0131k yanlar\u0131m\u0131 g\u0131d\u0131klad\u0131, beni karanl\u0131k tarafa \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Zay\u0131fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, zafiyetlerimi, zihnimin kuyular\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fmemi kollad\u0131.  Ad\u0131m\u0131n silikle\u015fti\u011fi, ad\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6zlemle an\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 vakitlerde, kendime ve kimseye umut veremedi\u011fim zamanlar\u0131mda, olmam\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131n, ku\u015fkular\u0131m\u0131n, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n girdaplar\u0131nda beni a\u011f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 merak ettim, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n pe\u015finden gittim, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n \u015fehvetinde kendime ba\u015fka bir ben arad\u0131m. Kendimde bir \u015fey arad\u0131m. Kendimin esrar\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fclendim. Kendimin esrar\u0131nda kendimi kaybettim. Onu hi\u00e7bir zaman sevmedim. Ondan i\u011frendim.  Ondan utand\u0131m ama ona al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, kan\u0131ma girdi.  El-nihayet b\u00f6l\u00fcnd\u00fcm.  A\u011f\u0131rba\u015fl\u0131, yumu\u015fak huylu, munis, di\u011ferkam, sab\u0131rl\u0131, yard\u0131msever adam\u0131n s\u00fck\u00fbnet dolu zarafetinin i\u00e7erisinde art\u0131k kendine, ruhunda \u00e7izikler b\u0131rakanlara, hayata, t\u00fcm d\u00fcnyaya kafa atmak isteyen bir Zidane vard\u0131. Kendini sabote edip duran bir Gascoigne vard\u0131. Ah ki kimseden alamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m intikam\u0131m\u0131 her defas\u0131nda kendimden ald\u0131m!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bilmiyorum dostlar\u0131m bilmiyorum! Ben biraz esmerdim, o kadar ve biraz da karanl\u0131k, i\u015flerim k\u00f6t\u00fc gitti. Y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, bunalm\u0131\u015f, s\u00fcrg\u00fcn i\u00e7inde kendimi ar\u0131yordum. Oysa bir s\u0131\u011f\u0131nt\u0131yd\u0131m. Korku i\u00e7inde sinmi\u015f, teslim olmu\u015f, d\u00f6rt duvar aras\u0131 bir yerde kalakalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u0130ddiamdan vuruldum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Ve ben korkun\u00e7 bir su\u00e7 i\u015fledim! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar aras\u0131nda bin eza ve cefa i\u00e7inde bin bir \u00f6zveri ve gayretle topra\u011fa tutunmu\u015f. O g\u00f6rkemli m\u00fctevazisi i\u00e7inde d\u00fcnyaya bakan bir \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi k\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015eimdi pi\u015fmanl\u0131k, utan\u00e7, su\u00e7luluk enkaz\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda t\u00fcm benli\u011fimle eziliyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nihayet sol yan\u0131m\u0131n cevahirini dizlerimin dibine b\u0131rak\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sizlere, daha fazla ne s\u00f6yleyebilece\u011fimi bilemiyorum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hala ya\u015farken, hayat\u0131n k\u0131ymetini bilin! K\u0131ymet bilin, k\u0131ymetinizi bilin!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben y\u0131kanmaya gidiyorum. Ho\u015f\u00e7a kal\u0131n ve te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holden Caulfield\u2019a<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haziran 2025\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00fcrk\u00e7\u00fc D\u00fckkan\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mustafa Kemal Ers\u00f6z L.Cohen- Famous Blue Raincoat Ben Judas! Ah! Judas m\u0131 dedim? \u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim ve bunu \u00e7ok s\u0131k yapar\u0131m!  Dikkate almayabilirsiniz.  Ben Musab! Bu aralar her \u015feyi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum. \u00c7oktur her \u015feyi birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum! Helali harama, g\u00fczeli \u00e7irkine, iyiyi k\u00f6t\u00fcye, temizi kirliye! Ad\u0131m\u0131 bile! Hatta ad\u0131m\u0131 i\u011fren\u00e7 su\u00e7lara bile!  Evet \u00f6yle i\u015fte her \u015feyi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum. Her \u015feyi berbat […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-888","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-kultur"},"yoast_head":"\nMusab Kaybederse\u00a0 - ehlen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kusura bakmay\u0131n, kafam epey da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k. San\u0131r\u0131m biraz durup bir g\u00fcrz darbesiyle darmada\u011f\u0131n edilmi\u015f hissetti\u011fim kafam\u0131 toparlamam gerekli! Bu biraz zaman alabilir. 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